Cupid's Irony
by Bunko08
Summary: Irony and love just don't mix. Ino finds out the hard way. Cho/Ino! Rate T for some language.
1. Prolog

Why did love have to have such horrible taste; did it not care about shape or size? Honestly, if Ino was cupid she would match all good looking guys with good looking girls. Shallow? Ino didn't care. Ino saw her way and only her way as correct. So why was cupid so cruel to her? What had she done to make the diaper wearing god so angry? (1)

She had loved Sasuke-kun, but then he went away and with him her love. So the Yamanaka was left without a 'future lover'. That was until Sai showed up. Ahhh...Sai; handsome, intelligent, though socially dense, he would have been a great boyfriend. There was just one little problem, she didn't love him. Of course, Ino didn't care because she _should_ love him; she'd learn to love him. He was handsome, intelligent, and sweet; what wasn't to love? At first, she had pretended to love the socially stupid boy, but then...

Then cupid played a cruel trick on her. Making her fall in love with someone she shouldn't be in love with, making her physically attracted to a boy she shouldn't want so badly, making her stutter at the mere mention of her once beloved family friend and teammate, Chouji.

Over the years he'd lost his baby fat and gained a hell of a lot of muscle. Not only had he magically obtained mucle, but Chouji also magically got taller, a lot taller. Oh, and he's the epitome of patience. He's like a fucking saint! He's a ninja, he's not suppose to be fucking saint like! As if to infuriate Ino even more, Chouji doesn't even get upset when she calls him fat anymore.

Though he'd lost weight, a lot of it, he was still a bigger man for a 16 year old. His facial features seemed gentler now than before. Chouji became, even though Ino would never admit it, a perfect gentleman and was slightly cute.

So, why shouldn't Ino love him?

Why wouldn't Ino admit to loving him?

Her first and only excuse was…

_He's my teammate and a friend of the family._

For some reason, only Ino knew, this made him unavailable. It was somehow wrong. The truth is… Ino's a coward.

She, like most people, is afraid of rejection. Usually the florist had an impenetrable barrier of confidence, but a little too much was at risk. The thing at risk was her and Chouji's friendship.

If she were to tell her teammate her feelings one of two possibilities would happen. Either he would think this was some joke and uncharacteristically get mad at her or laugh and tell her off.

Ino's mind was seemingly torturing her as it made her remember a long ago forgotten memory.

_"Chouji, you really need to lose some weight or you'll never get a girlfriend," Ino stated confidently, "People won't find you attractive."_

Oh, the irony of it all!

Ino had news for Neji, he wasn't the only one Fate hated.

What was a hopelessly love struck teenager to do?

Ino had a plan, a very simple, easy plan.

Ignore it.

Ignore the weird feelings she got around her slightly over weight teammate. Should be easy, right?

* * *

(1)- In my mind I've always pictured Cupid as a baby with little white wings that wears a diaper, ok? Yes, he even has a little baby bow and little baby arrows (that aren't sharp. Baby safe you know? lol)

Other chapters are going to be longer. It's just this is the prolouge and other chapters are going to be written a little differently than this one.

Please review or comment. Flames are more than welcome!!


	2. Elegant Moon

Chapter 2

" Talking,"

_Thinking_

**_Inner Ino's thoughts_**

* * *

Ino plopped on the white stool near the counter as she waited for the next customer. Saturday's were torture. Did everyone have something better to do than buy flowers? She really couldn't say she blamed them. She'd rather be somewhere else too. She glanced at the clock that read 6:49 P.M., she had exactly one hour and eleven minutes before her mom or dad would take over.

_Damn._

Ino slumped over the counter, still in the stool, and slowly closed her eyes. If no one was going to come in, what harm would come from a short nap? She'd just have to make sure she woke up before one of her parents came.

She had been sleeping lightly, when she heard a soft jingle coming from the small silver bells on the door. Finally, a customer!

"Welcome to--oh, hey Chouji," Ino said as she frowned and slouched back down in the chair.

"Slow today?" Her big boned, muscular teammate asked, with a sympathetic smile.

"What do you think?" Ino asked tartly as she sent him an evil glare, as if she really didn't want to see him. Inside, Ino's inner self was happily cheering.

"Sorry, I asked," Chouji laughed as he smiled at his female teammate. Ino watched as Chouji meandered over to a pre-made bouquet of roses, red and white. He stared at them for a few minutes, clearly debating in his mind whether or not to buy them.

"A red rose means love right? And a white one means purity?" Chouji asked still staring at the bouquet.

"Yes, but together they mean unity," Ino answered in a normal, flat voice. _Who's he buying flowers for?_

Chouji cringed, as he shook his head, "Not yet," he said aloud.

"What aren't you ready for yet?" Ino asked curiously.

Chouji didn't answer as he moved to the next bouquet.

He was staring at Ino favorite bouquet they had in at the moment. A beautiful set up of red, pink, and yellow tulips; a combination that, surprisingly went well together.

"What do these mean?" Chouji asked, a little hesitantly.

"The pink tulips mean caring," Ino began as she watched Chouji nod with approval, "...red tulips mean a declaration of love and yellow tulips mean hopelessly in love."

Chouji's nod turned into a rapid shaking of the head.

"Definetly not yet," Chouji said as he moved to a simple, pretty bouquet of lilacs.

"Those mean first love," Ino said before he could ask, with her remark Chouji shook his head and continued on down a line of bouquets.

Chouji stopped at a bouquet that seemed fitting. He didn't think the flowers gave any great declaration of love, but to make sure he thought he'd ask.

"Ino, what are these called and what do they mean?"

Ino glanced at the flowers, "There called Jasmine(s), and they mean grace and elegance."

"Perfect," Chouji said with a smile as he picked up the bouquet, "I'll buy these then."

"May I ask, if I'm not being to nosy, who these are for?" Ino asked curiously as she stared at the pretty flowers.

"Since when do you care if you're being nosy?" Chouji chuckled, " They're for a new friend."

"What's her name?" Ino demanded, as inner Ino was sharpening her kunai. '_**And what street does she live on? Her address?**' _Ino's conscience wondered.

"Now you're being too nosy," Chouji teased as he chuckled and headed for the door.

"Not even a first name?" Ino pouted as inner Ino was casually taking out her katana.

"I'll tell you if my date with her tonight ends well," Chouji promised as he opened the door.

"Wait, you have a date with her tonight?" Ino asked baffled. _**'What do you mean by ends well? What are you expecting? ...to get her in bed on the first date?**' _Inner Ino fumed at the thought.

Chouji just nodded as he had one foot out the door.

"Where at?" Ino quickly asked before he left.

"I'm not going to let you 'play cupid', as you would call it. You're not spying on us," Chouji said giving her a good-natured smile, he was serious, but polite.

"I won't, I promise!" Ino told him and it wasn't a lie. _'_**S_eriously, Chouji, I'm just going to decapitate her,_**' Inner Ino thought, innocently.

"I'm not falling for that," Chouji laughed while shaking his head, "I'll tell you the place and you'll 'accidently' go there later."

"Is she a ninja?" Ino question, but it was too late. Chouji had already walked out of the door, leaving her last question unanswered.

Ino sat back down in the stool as she glanced at the clock again. Chouji's visit had only taken eleven minutes. Damn, she'd probably have an entire hour without another customer. As Ino thought of her teammate's 'new friend', as he had put it, she tapped her fingers against the counter repeatedly. The florist was so deep in thought she didn't even hear the bells jingle as a tall man walked into the shop.

"Hey Ino," The man said as he glanced at his pupil. He noticed her tapping her fingers, which was never a good sign. She did this when she was faced with a problem she couldn't handle or fix. In other words, the young Yamanaka was annoyed or in distress.

"Buying flowers for Kurenai again? You're getting predictable," Ino smirked as her sensei gave her an annoyed glare. He didn't deny it; he just headed towards the red and white bouquet Chouji had thought about buying earlier.

"Unity? What are you planning on asking her to marry you or something?" Ino teased, expecting to get quite the rise from him. She was taken aback when he didn't say a word and his face became a light shade of pink.

"Wait..." Ino was getting excited, "Are you serious? You're...You're...That's great!" Ino cheered happily.

"Ino, I don't want anyone knowing about this yet," Asuma said sternly.

Ino nodded furiously, but then paused, "Am I the first to know?"

Asuma nodded, as he flinched expecting the girl to screech with delight. When she didn't he opened his eyes. Her eyes had moistened, and she had a smile on her face of true happiness. For a minute, he thought she was going to break into tears.

"Asuma-sensei, I'm truly honored," Ino voice was filled with teasing sarcasm. She was truly happy she was the first to know, but she couldn't pass up this great opportunity to tease her sensie.

Asuma rolled his eyes as he picked up the bouquet he had just payed for.

"By the way, Ino, has Chouji..." Asuma stopped as the bells on the door jingled again and two gossiping teens, Ino's age, walked in the store.

"Welcome to the Yamanaka Flower Shop. How may I help you?" Ino recited politely as she turned and walked away from her sensei. He'd understand it was nothing personal; she'd done this to him before. Idle chit chat would have to wait for when the other customers were gone.

"Oh, we're just looking," The shy looking red head on the left said.

"Sumi, which bouquet do you think your new lover got you?" The black haired girl on the right asked, teasingly.

"He's not my lover. He's a friend," The red haired girl named Sumi answered, her cheeks becoming a light pink.

Ino studied both girls. The black haired one was obviously the spunkier of the two. She wasn't nearly as pretty as Sumi, but from what Ino saw of her personality, she was easily likeable. The girl had long, unkempt, black hair that looked slightly oily, too pale of skin, and eyes that bulged out a little too much. Her best facial feature was her red lips thats shade of red matched perfectly well with the red roses in Asuma's hand. The girl was taller than her friend, and wore looser, grunge clothing. The one on the left, Sumi, was absolutely beautiful. She had rare, short, fire red hair that came just short of her shoulders and light brown, big, eyes. Her face slightly pale, but the feature only made her look more pure. She had a slim figure that she didn't try, at all, to hide with her clothing. She looked just like her name implied, elegant.

"I think **your **Chouji-kun got you a huge bouquet of red roses," The black haired girl teased as she poked at her friend.

"Kioko, stop it. He's not **mine**," Sumi said softly.

_'**You god damned right he's not yours!** ' _Inner Ino screamed.

"We just came here to buy your brother some Yarrows and Pear Blossoms," Sumi reminded her friend.

"Alright, alright. Why do we have to get my stupid brother any flowers?" Kioko asked, groaning.

"He's in the hospital and he's not s-stupid," the girl stuttered as she blushed.

"Hn," The girl made an annoyed sound, "Yea, right."

Sumi grabbed a bouquet of Yarrows and Pear Blossoms. Ino noticed the girl seemed to know the flower meant health or healing.

"Is that all?" Ino asked politely.

Sumi nodded as she handed over the money from inside of her pocket.

_'Now why is she paying for the flowers when it's not her brother?'_Ino wondered suspiciously.

"Thank you, come again," Ino said as the two girls left.

"So that's Chouji's new girl?" Asuma said amused, "Never got a chance to meet her until now. Chouji told me her name, but that was it. That reminds me, was he in here ealier?"

"Yea," Ino said bitterly, "What's the girl's, Sumi's last name?"

"Usagi," Asuma answered, "Pretty name, isn't it? Sumi Usagi, elegant moon. Seems fitting for her. The butterfly and the elegant moon seem to belong together, eh?"

"Yea," Ino lied as she gave a fake, half-hearted smile. The first name matched perfectly well with the girl's personality and she did look elegant, but an elegant moon? The last name never felt or seemed quite right. Then again, Ino's name didn't really fit her either.

"So, where's Chouji taking Sumi for their first date?" Ino asked nonchalantly, as she rearranged a group of Daffodils(1). She then moved to a bouquet of Gardenias, and began to sprits them with water (2).

"Taka _Sushi_," Asuma answered as he watch the young kunoichi as she made a bouquet to take the place of the one that he had just bought. This bouquet was a combination of red carnations, China Asters, Jonquils, Tulips, and Buttercups(3).

"Oh, that's a nice place," Ino muttered as she busied herself with some pink Camellias(4).

"Yea. Well, Ino, I better get going," Asuma declared as he glanced at the clock.

"Wait, what time's Chouji's date?" Ino asked, as she set the bouquet down.

"Eight o'clock, why?" Asuma asked susupiciously.

"No reason. I was just curious," Ino ganced at her favorite bouquet.

"Alright, just don't get any ideas," Her sensei warned right before he left.

Ino didn't listen as she walked towards the bouquet, slightly hypnotised by the off color in it. In her favorite bouquet, among the colorful combination of red, pink, and yellow was brown. One of the yellow tulips had withered and died. Odd, she hadn't noticed before.

With the withered flower removed, the bouquet looked beautiful again. After a few long moments of sitting on the white stool, reading a magazine her mother came to take over until closing time at ten.

'_**We still have time to kill Bitch Sumi before the date,**' _Inner Ino thought with a menacing smile.

'_No, I'm going to stay out of it_,' Ino told her conscience in her mind.

'**_Whatever you say Ino-pig, whatever you say.'_**

_'You're beginning to sound like Sakura.'_

**_'Good!'_**

* * *

(1): Daffodils-Unrequited Love, You're the Only One, The Sun is Always Shining when I'm with You

(2): Gardenias-Secret Love

(3)The bouquet means...

Red Carnations-My Heart Aches For You, Admiration  
China Asters-Jelousy and After-Thought  
Jonquils-Love me  
Tulips-Symbol of The Perfect Lover  
Buttercups-Childishness

(4): pink Camellias-longing for you

(A/N): I know most flower shops don't stay open till 10 P.M., but hey, the Yamanaka's are devoted.

I think I picked fitting flowers. It took a long time to pick out which flowers for this story.


End file.
